Return to me
by Alphania
Summary: A collection of short-stories about Elehnia Shepard and Garrus Vakarian, they will be intense in every way imaginable. Everything from brutal fightscenes, light smut and hellish nightmares. I'll post them from time to time as I get the urge to write. Hope you'll enjoy! Rated M: Brutal fightscenes (LOTS OF BLOOD). Light smut. harsh language. psychological.
1. Chapter 1

**This is something I wrote on the spur of the moment, it's a shortstory/novel about the Arrival DLC from ME2.**

**There's only going to be two chapters for the complete story. I'd appreciate any comment or suggestion!**

**Warning!**

***Constains harsh language**

***Smut (light action, not very describing)**

***BRUTAL VIOLENCE (very describing action scenes, lots of blood, so if your queasy I'd recommend not reading)**

**This story takes place after the suicide misson, Garrus and Shepard have already been a couple for a while.**

**So read on and have fun! Hope you have fun and hope I've managed to write something decent!**

* * *

"I don't like it Shepard, not one bit" He leaned against the console, firmly folding his arms, throwing all his anger through that one glance.

She heaved a sigh "believe me, spending the night roaming through a batarian rathole of a prison isn't exactly at the top of my list with 'favorite vacation spots'." She lowered her gaze and strode over to the workbench, picking up a drilling tool, letting it roll absentmindedly between her index finger and thumb.

"Then why are you so fucking stubborn?!" a deep rumble settled in his abdomen as he took a determined stride and ripped the tool from her hands. Placing a talon under her chin while tilting it upwards, hungrily roaming her striking features, drowning in her lavender orbs "You can't possibly understand how I feel..."

She irritably batted away his hand, gazing at him with that burning, raging inferno. Just another part of her that he loved, though in this moment he'd rather fetch an extinguisher.

"What can't I _possibly_ understand Garrus?.. am I just too dimwitted to comprehend your brilliant mind?"

"That's not what I meant!"

"Then explain!"

He clutched her shoulders, clinging to her desperately "I won't let you go to Aratoth! It's too dangerous!"

She laughed bitterly and cocked her hip "And here I thought that _I_ was the commanding officer! Didn't think I'd signed up for outright insubordination the moment we fucked!"

He rammed his fist against the metal railing, though nothing could dull the pain of her harsh words. He gawked at the floor and snorted "So that's all it meant to you.. thanks for finally disclosing _that_ secret"

The silence grew thick like vapor surrounding them, the moment lasted so long that doubt seared like a festering wound in his gut. He barely noticed when she grasped his taloned hand, squeezing it affectionately.

"I'm sorry... I've been so wired up lately and just took it too far.." She placed her hand gingerly against his mandible "hey.. you know it's nothing like that.. Christ! I fell so hard for you that you turned me into a slimy puddle! so much that I melted every time you gave me that sideways glance through that stupid blue visor! That was long before I dumped your scaly ass back at the citadel, when Normandy was still SR1..."

He dared a look and observed the blush crawling from her neck, slowly coloring her cheeks pink.

"When did _you_ ever dump _me_ on the citadel?.. If I recall correctly it was me who left!"

With eyes wide with disbelief, she cocked an eyebrow, her face slowly distorted, ultimately breaking into a thunderclap of laughter. He leaned awkwardly against the console, the irritation rising by each time she tried to catch her breath "You know.. Not really the best way to mend the situation..."

She slapped her hands against her knees repeatedly, peering at him with teardrops lingering on her eyelashes "I'm.. sorry.." she gasped "It's just that, here I throw you the confession of a century, and _that's_ what you choose to focus on"

Her smile spread through her face like a beautiful fever, radiating light that would dazzle even the most stubborn krogan.

"Yeah, how could you possible resist all of this 6,5 feet tall 'pure handsomeness'.."

"Great.. I wonder how large that head of yours can swell before it explodes..." She smirked mischievously.

"Well, I think there's still room for some more"

"Nah, I gotta contain that beast before you run away, snatching up unsuspecting maidens"

"There's no way to capture this greatness!"

"How can you still doubt me after all this time?! I'm always on point!"

"Oh, is that so?.." He cleared his throat, hiding a smile behind his hand "Like that time you compared a Varren to a, what was it you called it, a teddy bear? Or that time you yelled _SHORTCUT_ in the Mako, heading straight up a mountain, ending up nosedived in a crevice!"

She stuck out her jaw arrogantly, folding her arms "tss, what gives you the idea that I was wrong about those? Varrens are extremely cute! plus, I saved you from a live of boredom in that brick of a Mako! You would have become an old, boring fart by now if I'd not intervened with my adventures! you can thank me anytime now!"

He took the few steps separating them and cradled her cheek, tracing a talon gently along her cheekbones, studying every inch of her face "I'm sorry it took me so long to realize..."

She raised an eyebrow "What? That you're a boring fart?"

He laughed, hard "No... That other... thing..."

She smiled cryptically "What _thing_"

"You know perfectly well what I'm talking about"

"Nah, I don't get it at all, please elaborate... I'm just a bit to thick to comprehend that _oh_, so very complicated brain of yours" She poked his head playfully with her index finger.

He exhaled slowly, gently resting his brow against her forehead "I'm sorry..." he swallowed roughly "that you had to die.. before i finally realized just how much you mean to me.."

While sliding an arm around her waist he pulled her closer, burying his hand in her velvety, ebony curls, relishing in the sweet fruity scent that lingered with it. "you should know by now that I'm completely useless with words.. and that I seem to fuck up everything I touch... not to mention just how much you terrify me.."

She leaned as far back as allowed without breaking the embrace "Ge.. thanks! If I'd known sooner that I was the freakin boogie man hiding under your bed I would've left you alone!"

"You see, words.. not very compatible"

"Oh cmon, you left that one wide open. I'm just trying to help you along"

He ruffled her hair teasingly "Seriously though.. you've climbed so far up that pedestal that you're impossible to reach.. for you it might've been easy, but for us mortals, watching you up there.. how's one little turian supposed to match up?"

She smiled snidely "Really... Little?..."

"Not literally, dimwit.." He exhaled, leaning back against the console "Do you remember the first time we met, on the Citadel? You emanated this overwhelming superiority, I was convinced then and there that you would come to stand out amongst everyone else. I'm a picky guy who don't get impressed easily, but you won me over immediately. I just had to follow you, and when you accepted I was so relieved it didn't give me much time to comprehend what was really going on... I just felt this immense need to catch up to you, to gain some of that force that was all you.. It became my only goal.."

"Was that the reason you continued your spectre training?" she mumbled faintly..

"Yes, among other things.. I left, not realizing how much you'd already changed me, how much of my life you already occupied... when you died... spirits, just thinking about it.." He buried his face in his hands, running the sharp talons along his fringe desperately "Let's just say that it's an understatement to say that my life got royally screwed up... for a while I stayed at the training centre, but then the Council began spewing lies, denying everything that happened... nothing meant anything anymore, so I went to omega to try and find some kind of purpose, ending up killing my whole squad.."

"That's enough! _You_ didn't kill your squad, how long are you going to anguish over something that's so obviously not your fault!" she grabbed him by the collar and yanked up, glaring at him fiercely "I don't get the point of me having to tell you something you already know, maybe you're just so fucking masochistic that you actually enjoy beating yourself with that stick up your ass!"

She released him and started pacing back and forth "as for you trying to throw me up on some goddamn imaginary goddess pedestal! that ends here! Take the people on this ship for example, I'm no better than any of them!" She halted abruptly, turning towards him furiously "you seem to have this image of me where I'm perfect and never fail! so let me give you a harsh wake up call! Jenkins and Kaiden, they died because I'm weak, because I couldn't protect them! The very highlight of my career is a fucking failure! everyone praising me, wishing to slap medals on my chest for a mission where over fifty people ended up dead! Akuze, where I though Toombs died, one of my best friends. Then finding out that he ended up caught in the clutches of a deranged scientist of Cerberus!"

Tears slowly gathered in the corners of her eyes, she bit down hard on her bottom lip and shook her head violently

It was the first time he'd seen her cry, it was unbearable, and heartbreaking.

"That's not really the trademarks of a hero.. don't you get it, I'm just a pretender, walking on a crumbling bridge that will fall apart the moment people finally realize how fucking fake I am... who knows.. maybe I'm not even real anymore, maybe I'm just a Cerberus controlled cyborg who thinks she's Shep"

At that point he'd grabbed her so fiercely it took her breath away, planting a hungry kiss on her lips, the embrace so tight that it hurt. Her arms slowly nestled around him, gathering his shirt in her tightly clenched fists. The kiss ended as he slowly broke away, nuzzling the side of her face "You are not fake Shepard.."  
He cradled her cheek and tilted it up, forcing her to meet his gaze while drying her tears with the soft pad of his thumb "You're certainly not a freaking cyborg, don't you think I'd be able to tell the difference?"

He buried his face in her soft neck, inhaling the sweet scent that was all her "they couldn't possibly fake this. I sensed that it was you the moment you stepped up on that bloody path towards my hideout" She shivered underneath him and it sent ripples down his spine. His mandibles fluttered pleasantly, sending goosebumps throughout her sensitive skin. "they could never, ever, copy your brilliant mind or your generosity, but above all else, they would never be able to fake your spirit, there's no one else like you... is this what you've feared all this time?.. that you're not real?.."

She buried her head in his chest, hugging tighter "yes..."

"Why didn't you tell me sooner so I could've smacked that thought straight out of your insane brain?.."

She chuckled softly "Well, I'm not really the share, care bear, kind of person... I fix my own problems.."

"A what now?"

"Never mind..."

"Well.. from now on you better start including me.. Unless of course you'd prefer a scary turian clawing at your door late at night, demanding answers"

He felt her shaking in his arms and felt slightly worried, until he heard the soft snorts. "What's so funny?"

As her laughter exploded she punched him softly in the gut "Garrus Vakarian, scary! Good one!"

He laughed with her "Well... I can be scary, it just demands the right situation..."

"Oh sure big guy, I can just imagine..." She slumped down on the bunk, leaning back against the wall, sighing.

"What are you thinking about?.."

"The conversation that started all this"

"Oh..."

"I don't really get why you're so concerned.. You, more than anyone should know that I can handle myself"

"It's not that I doubt your ability... But it just so happens that every mission you get your hands on, even the simple pickups, turns into a fuckload of explosions!"

"Tss, you're over exaggerating!"

"Oh really?.. How about Okeer, you were supposed to land, pick him up and go. but you ultimately ended up surrounded by a bunch of crazy tankbread krogans and mercs firing missiles. What about Jack, a whole prison colony blown up"

"Well.. that's not.."

"Those are just a few of the missions" He interrupted "I could go on and on about every _easy_ mission that's turned sour as soon as you happened on the scene.. Now, I know it's not your fault or intention, but as soon as you're involved everything easy flies straight out the airlock!"

She sighed and observed him with an expression he could only mount up to pity "I don't have a choice Garrus, it's Hacket after all... Ever since I got stuck on this goddamn Cerberus vessel, I've wanted an opportunity to show the alliance that I've not turned my back on them..." She lowered her head "I've wanted nothing more, than to rip out every, single, one of the freaking Cerberus symbols plastered all over the place.. I hate being on this ship, I hate them for what they did on Akuze..."

"I'm not telling you to abandon the mission! But It wouldn't hurt to bring a friend or two along.."

"I can't! The batarians are sensitive, pathetic, little babies! If they notice a squad of Cerberus agents invading their colony, they're gonna blast shit out of proportions and use it as an opportunity to wage war on humanity.. no, Hacket's right... This is something that needs to be done alone, I can sneak in, grab D.r kenson and get out.. plus, it would feel great to get some vengeance for everything that happened on Mindoir.. Just picturing their stupid faces, as they realize a single little human could steal one of their high security prisoners right up from under their noses, it gives me pleasant little tingly feelings..."

"So, sneak in sneak out huh..." He stalked over to her, placing a hand on each side of her hip on the bunk, leaning in close "You just went through one suicide mission, that was too fucking close! I listened when you told me to play the big guy, to lead the others.. Though I wanted nothing more than to be on your six just like usual.. But it's getting too hard for me Shepard.. every-time I can't be there to protect you.. I just... I've already felt what it's like to live in this galaxy without you in it.. I'd rather die a thousand times over than go through that again!.."

She softly placed a hand on his mandible, stroking comfortingly "That's not gonna happen..."

"How can you be so sure?.."

"Because this is not me jumping into a fray of crazy collectors... I know how to be careful.."

"_Shepard_ and _careful_ doesn't really fit in the same sentence"

"What's that supposed to mean?!"

"Well sweetie.. You're more of a blast your way through brick walls than a sneak in the dark, Thane, kinda lady... though I do like that part about you"

"Tss.. You only know my explosive side! I've gone through plenty of stealth missions... I can be sneaky when there's a need for it..."

"I guess there's no way for me to persuade you..."

"No.. You certainly can't, but don't worry, I'll be back long before you miss me"

"Doubtful.."

Her eyes traveled between his, her shocked expression switching to one of undeniable need and hunger. That fire in her very soul that drew him in like a magnet, he'd never been this affected by anyone before. The way she threw him out of his paces until he could barely recognize himself. She looped her arms around him and buried her face in his neck, her wet, soft lips tracing slowly against his pulse, sending shivers throughout his spine. He slid one arm under her thighs and placed the other on the lower part of her back, lifting her up while she looped her legs around his waist, locking herself in place with her ankles. He'd never pegged himself as having a human fetish, and it really wasn't like that. It was all about her, how she'd entered his life like a raging tornado, turning everything upside down. Slowly nestling her way into his heart, leaving a piece of herself there that could never be torn out. The need to touch that warmth, to somehow integrate it within himself, it turned him on more than he could have ever imagined. He slipped one hand inside her shirt, tracing his talons softly along her back, she arched, melting into his touch. He kissed her feverishly, wanting to absorb every single part of her.

* * *

Two days had gone by without a single word from Shepard, he felt like ripping out every single bulkhead, shredding his whole compartment into little pieces. But what would that help other than maybe reduce his anger and frustration somewhat. He wasn't the only one worried, every crew member stalked around the ship like lost little puppies. Only Tali and EDI worked frantically to try and find out what's happened to her, they were the only ones capable of actually doing something.

Once again he was on the elevator going down to engineering, he suspected that Tali had already grown tired of his constant visits that didn't yield anything. But the low hum of the drivecore and her tinkering on her omnitool, exclaiming 'Boshtet' now and then helped reduce the buzzing in his head.

She stood in front of the battery console, hammering away at the keys.

"Have you found anything yet?"

She glanced at him over her shoulder "I've traced the signal to an asteroid not too far from Aratoth...  
It seems to be some kind of research base, it's bigger than I thought, and their security is far above the usual"

"So?.."

"So.. their firewalls are constantly kicking me and EDI out.. But don't worry, we'll break through soon enough.. we were just about to contact you actually"

"But why aren't we already on our way there?" He grumbled fiercely.

"Yeah! Why not just blindly rush into a batarian colony, blasting our guns yelling _Where's Shepard_! that seems like the perfect plan, Garrus..."

He snorted "What could possible go on there that's any good? She must be in some kind of trouble.."

"What if she's not though? No... we have to know more before we go there.."

He sighed and took the few strides up to the console, leaning in, settling on watching her tinkering away. Minutes that felt like hours ticked away while Tali kept blipping and grumbling.

"Keeelah.."

"What?!" He grabbed her arm, dragging her in to gawk at the video erupting on her omnitool.

"OUCH! Did you need to rip my arm off!"

The picture before him grew a heavy lump in his already tight chest. It was Shepard, hiding behind a low wall in a corner, surrounded by dozens of soldiers. Bullets flying everywhere, smoke rising by the craters from where they'd tried to hit her with grenades. She was displaying her otherworldly ability to fight, a battledance where only the one skilled enough would survive. Sending her drone to distract the opponents who wasn't getting their shields ripped apart by her tech abilities. Though her weapon play was by far the most impressive, every time she fired that sniper rifle someones head would fly off in a gruesome shower of blood, not a single shot missed, not a single opportunity wasted. All the while an annoying voice would echo through the speakers 'bring Shepard down, she mustn't be allowed to stop the arrival!' or shouts from the soldiers complaining how they couldn't take her down. That's when a heavy mech entered the area and began closing in on her.

His blood began to boil, the pulse like a drumsolo against his temples, a low rumble festered in his abdomen "We have to get there!"

He was about to head for the elevator when Tali interrupted him "Garrus... This was two days ago..."

"I DON'T CARE!" he roared furiously "EDI get us there!"

"I've already plotted the course" She answered in her robotic alluring tunes.

He focused on the screen again to watch how she skillfully handled the oncoming mech, just as a rocket was about to blow her head off, she hacked it, making it slowly turn around, spraying bullets over the soldiers who barely had time to throw themselves behind cover. She gracefully vaulted behind it and with unnatural speed ran over the battlefield, picking up ammunition on the way, to finally throw herself behind the nearest cover.

Something ominous was taking place in that pristine white science building, and it wasn't the dangerous heavy mech or the battlecrazed soldiers. It was the strange, enormous darkblue artifact centered in the room. It emanated blue electric pulses, almost like thick smoke that drizzled down its tentacle like fixtures. There was no question about it, that was reaper tech, all the puzzle pieces fell into place, she was fighting indoctrinated slaves.

The annoying voice on the comm kept droning on '_don't worry, trust in the artifact, it will do its job_', Shepard switched between covers, firing her sniper rifle in between the rain of bullets. The never ending stream of soldiers finally ended, the heavy mech was destroyed, her alone was left. That's when the artifact seemed to explode in a bright blue electric pulse. It ran throughout the room and smashed into her, she fell to her knees, clawing at her head as if to dig something out of it. When she'd finally collapsed a bunch of scientist entered the room behind a squad of shield-bearing soldiers. They approached her with a long stick that must've been a type of stun-gun. Every time they poked her she would convulse violently on the floor. They picked up her unconscious body and carried it away, out through the doors.

Garrus growled, gripping the railing so hard it creaked in his taloned hands."Where are they taking her?!"

"I don't know, hang on, I'm gonna go through some more footage.."

He waited impatiently until finally another video flashed up on her screen, it was Shepard again, laying on a bed in a medbay. "This is footage from about one hour ago" Tali mumbled beside him.

They watched as she rose from the bed, holding her head as if in pain. The frantic nurse rushed out of the room shouting about how '_the sedatives weren't working_'. Shepard only had her military slacks on when she stole a gun from one of the powered off mechs, running out of there as the station wide alert blared out in the background.

He began strolling back and forth irritably, gabby and ken, who'd observed everything at a safe distance looked at him pitifully "What are you two looking at!" he barked fiercely, they threw their hands in the air, waiving them in a 'we're unarmed' fashion and returned to their tinkering.

"Garrus It's not their fault! You have to get a grip!"

"What the fuck do you know!" He roared and locked her gaze, his pulse exploding in his temples.

"Don't you think I want her back just as much as you?!"

"I strongly doubt that Tali!" he spat out sarcastically "Aren't you gonna return to that stupid fleet once as all this is over anyway huh!"

"Fine, yell and shout as much as you like! see if it helps! I've got more important things to do than listen to you, I'm actually gonna find her"

"YOU DO THAT!" He threw a fist to the wall, feeling one of the bones crack as it hit the cold metal "She's out there alone Tali, against a station filled to the brim with soldiers, nothing but a simple handgun as protection..."

"I know... That's why you gotta get your shit together, so that we can hurry along and save her"

He felt ridiculous, knowing full well how right she was. But the anger in him felt like a burning inferno that would swallow him whole. He rushed out of the room towards the elevator, slamming the button towards the garage, there were some punching bags down there that could take a beating.

* * *

The pictures flashed through his mind, Shepard trying to stop Dr. Kenson from blowing up the comm room, failing and getting caught up in the violent explosion, ultimately falling unconscious on the floor. At least she'd had her armor on so she must have picked it up somewhere along the way. He rushed through the never ending white corridor, Miranda's voice buzzing in the comm about how he needed to slow down. He'd left her in one of the previous rooms since she was too slow to keep up.

A while ago they'd finally figured out what the asteroid project was really about, so the rest of the crew tried to help evacuate the batarian colony on Aratoth, not a simple feat.

Though 'he' had only one goal, finding Shepard and dragging her out of there before someone else decided to finish her off. He was reaching the end of the corridor and rushed to press the console of the door, it whooshed open with a hiss, temporarily distracting the squad of soldiers who had their weapons aimed at her.

She was on the floor, about fifteen feet away, supporting herself on one arm, her head flicked in his direction, eyes connecting with his. Everything stilled, time itself stopped flowing, she was covered in soot and blood from head to toe, her messed up ebony curls in a halo around her banged up face. Those dazzling eyes with the inferno in them that could never, ever be quenched. She breathed a contended sigh "Garrus.."

A loud bang ripped through the air like shards of glass slicing through the silence. He couldn't comprehend what had happened until she crumbled, falling in slow motion.

Something snapped in his mind, like a tight rubber band getting cut. He launched himself in a bestial leap towards the closest soldier, burrying a talon deep into his jugular, ripping his spine straight apart as if it were mere clay. With one quick stride he was already upon the next victim, grabbing his jaw and tearing it back until he heard the satisfying cracks of the head separating from the rest of the body in a rain of blood. Their chock had so far kept them from firing, but now bullets whizzed through the air hitting him in sharp thuds. He couldn't care less though, the second it took him to kill one of them he'd already latched on to the next one. He moved like a leopard from prey to prey, wading in rivers of blood, ripping off anything that he got a hold of. The only thing left in his wake were a myriad of puddles of meat, bone and blood. He grabbed the last soldier still standing, his frightened yelps and panic stricken eyes could do nothing to prevent the oncoming slaughter.

He breathed heavily, surrounded by the devastation he'd left behind, covered in crimson blood that dripped from his sharp talons. He knew what lay behind him and dreaded to turn around, finding her yet again gone from this world. He forced himself to move and found in astonishment that her gaze, though hazy and unfocused, still lingered on him.

"Shepard..." He fell to his knees and dragged her into his embrace, clinging to her desperately "Don't you dare die on me..." He applied medigel to the bullet-wound under her shoulder-blade.

She tried to speak but the words turned into violent coughs that ripped through her body. She gasped "You... were right..."

"About what?..."

"Even you.. can get scary sometimes..." She slowly looped her arms around his neck "It just demands the right situation..."

He chuckled faintly "I warned you..."

The whole situation left a bitter aftertaste in his mouth and he sent a silent prayer to the spirits, hoping that she wouldn't get scared of him for real.

"We have to get out of here..." She said while releasing herself from him "This asteroid is heading straight for that relay.."

"I know.." He scrambled to his feet, grabbing her hand to hoist her up.

_"Garrus! You there?!"_ Miranda's annoying tunes broke through his earpiece.

"Yeah, I'm here.."

_"Fucking finally! I've been trying to reach you forever!"_

"I found Shepard, We're getting out of here now, you go ahead first!"

_"Good! Though I called to inform you that the way you came is a no go.. Those damn fools blew up a corridor, the whole goddam thing collapsed and I'm stuck on the other side! you'll have to find another way out!"_

"Okay, thanks for the heads up!" He scanned the room for an exit.

"What's going on?"

"We're blocked from the way I came"

"This day just keeps getting better and better!" She began limping towards the elevator "cmon, this elevator will get us closer to the hangar... We need to get a message out to Aratoth through the communications tower!"

"The others are already on it, though I doubt it will do any good" He strode after her, grabbing her shoulder to give support but she just batted him away.

"I'm not a baby that needs to be cuddled, I can walk on my own.." her gaze fell on the countdown screen above them "Fuck.. only thirty minutes left!"

"Yeah, we need to hurry.."

* * *

The eerie, compact silence of the vacuum filled hangar slapped them like a brick wall as soon as they stepped through the doors. Shepard hobbled on towards the comm tower, her movements screaming of the strain she forced upon herself. It was a mysterie how she hadn't collapsed already on their way there. Even so she didn't hesitate a moment to reach for the rifle on her back when they noticed the soldiers heading their way. Her arms shook of exhaustion every time she raised the heavy weapon to aim at her opponents.

He felt like yelling at her to just stop and leave it all to him, but he knew better, knew that she'd never stop. And even though he hated these moments where she fought instead of depending on him. He couldn't deny that they were also the parts about her that he loved, the unbelievable strength, unbreakable spirit and unwillingness to surrender.

They fought their way through the hangar like a well oiled machine, so used to each-others rhythm, that it felt like child's play to bring down the two huge heavy mech's targeting them.

When they reached the comm tower the hologram of an enormous reaper flickered to life, spewing out its doomsday prophecy in its dark threatening tunes "_Shepard, you have become an annoyance, you fight against inevitability. Dust struggling against cosmic wind. This seems a victory to you. A star system sacrificed. But even now, your greatest civilizations are doomed to fall. Your leaders will beg to serve us._"

Shepard laughed bitterly and cocked her head "however 'insignificant' we might be, we will fight, we will sacrifice and we will find a way! Just like we smashed your best friend Sovereign into tiny little space particles the last time you 'arrived'!" she gathered her breath, stumbling slightly, pointing boldly at Harbinger "But know this! as soon as you creepy, hovering, robots 'dare' flap one of those disgusting tentacles in our milky way, I will personally tear you apart with my bare hands! Come and try me you fucktwat!"

Despite her disregard to his previous attempts of helping her, Garrus gingerly slid an arm under her shoulder, supporting her as they hurried towards the landing pad. Harbingers image flickered and slowly dissipated behind them.

The mass relay loomed so close now that it felt like they could just stretch out their arm to touch it. The Normandy docked against the ramp as they threw themselves aboard, barely getting through the airlock before the ship entered FTL.

"Get us the hell out of here joker!" She sagged against the wall in the cockpit, watching through the front windows as they approached the relay. Her arms hung slack against her sides, blood drizzling in generous amounts down her glowed hand, slowly falling in huge drops towards the floor, building up a puddle. The scent hit him like a punch in the gut, overwhelming now that his helmet was removed.

"Shepard..." the distress in his husky voice was palpable. She turned towards him, meeting his gaze with distant, cloudy eyes. A slight smile grazed her features as she fell, he lunged forward and caught her in his arms, simultaneously crashing to his knees "Shepard! what's wrong?!"

She chuckled faintly "It.. took me some time to find my armor and rifle.. there were some... _obstructions_ along the way.." her head lulled into place in the crook of his arm "I love.. you Garrus..."

The rest of the crew on the bridge, watched in shock and dispair as he hoisted her up, ultimately running frantically towards the elevator.

"EDI, alert Dr Chakwas that the commander is heading towards the med bay... tell her.. that it looks bad" joker mumbled dejectedly.

* * *

**The second chapter will go up as soon as I've finished it, might take a few ours... **


	2. Chapter 2

**This is the second and last chapter of this short-story, hope you like it! It's a bit psychological and contains some smut so beware! It's my first time writing smut so bare with me please, I at least tried! Well, thank you for reading this story!**

**The first part can be brutal to some, I tried to put as much feeling in it as possible!**

**Enjoy!**

* * *

Garrus carefully lowered Shepard onto the sterile bunk bed in the medbay, her consciousness slipping away by every shallow breath. He glanced over his shoulder as the door whooshed open when Dr Chakwas entered in a flurry. She wordlessly rushed back and forth, grabbing sterilizers, bandages and needles filled with sedatives. He hung around like a lost child, stalking her every move with his sharp glare.

She soon set to work on stripping away the thick armor, removing the gauntlets first, hooking up a bunch of cords and tubes that connected to all the humming machines. She closed her eyes and took a deep breath before moving on to the chest armor. He watched in horror as Shepards mangled body was slowly uncovered, her military garbs were glued stuck to the many bullet wounds that riddled her body. The tight chest piece had acted as a temporary tourniquet, so when the pressure was released dark crimson blood immediately oozed through the cuts, drizzling down along the sides. He recoiled, stumbling against the sharp bunk bed behind him. The nauseating stench invaded his sensitive nostrils in overwhelming force.

Fear gripped his heart like a cold iron vise, seething throughout his veins like icy venom, poisoning his very soul. He was so lost in the moment that he barely noticed when the rest of the medical staff rushed through the door. Their hair in messy knots, dark circles below their eyes, evidently they'd been roused straight from sleep.

The blond, lanky nurse grabbed a sharp scissor and started cutting away the last remaining fabric covering Shepards body. Her once honey colored skin now faded and pale, telling of the abundant blood loss, a patchwork of purple bruises spread like vast islands over her frame. She coughed violently, spraying blood on the closest nurse, crimson staining her white teeth.

The rhythmic blipping of the machines screeched out their sad song, melodies of how close to death she lingered, until it reached the end of its powerful crescendo with a blaring, deafening shriek. Panic shot through him like an electric pulse, he leapt to her bedside, clutching her shoulders, shaking her desperately. "YOU CAN'T DIE ELEHNIA!" Her dimmed eyes gawked at him as if to mock him with their blatant emptiness. A piercing, hopeless howl tore through his sandpaper dry throat, dragging his talons along the ridges in his face, staggering blindly.

The nurses tried to push him out of the way, but he stood there solid and heavy like a block of cement. No longer able to comprehend actions or words, images of her bloodied face like a slideshow raging through his mind.

It didn't take long for the guards to arrive, attempting to drag his howling, brawling form out of there. He grabbed one of them, throwing him straight into a nearby medical cabinet. It took two more crashes before they realized it was impossible to stop him. Not until Thane entered the scene and successfully launched several shots of sedatives in him. He was finally brought down and unceremoniously hurled onto a nearby bunk bed.

* * *

The gangly metal chair had been pushed as close to the bed as allowed. He sat down, grasping her tiny cold hand with his own warm, large one. The buzzing machines ticked away by her side. Thick tubes connected to her mouth, pushing life giving oxygen through her lungs. Even though everything was mechanical, it gave him comfort to observe the steady rise and fall of her chest. He lowered his cheek onto the cold sharp edge of the bed, absentmindedly stroking a talon along the ridges of her palm.

He didn't know what got him talking, it might have been the unbearable silence, or just the simple wish of hearing her voice, just once more. At first it was only random bits and pieces of their first missions together. Though it soon turned into longer stories, of how he became a better person because of her. How much she influenced him. He begged desperately that she was still in there somewhere, if he could just grasp her, lift her out of that dark abyss then everything would be alright

* * *

He would sit by her side for whole days, barely getting any sleep, and any sleep he got was riddled with nightmares. The ship was like a hollow cocoon, the mother bee was asleep and the workers couldn't coordinate without her. Yesterday Chakwas had concluded that they could remove the breathing tubes, a relief to him as she no longer looked like a coma patient. He stalked towards her slumbering form, gently stroking her cheek.

"I know that it must be nice for you to finally get some rest.. but it's enough now... you have to wake up.."

He sat down on the now familiar metal chair, grasping a long lock of ebony hair, rubbing it lovingly between his fingers. "How much time I wasted those years ago... now that I think back on it.. I must've already known that you had a thing for me.." He sighed dejectedly "I'm usually pretty tough and confident..  
but you break that down so easily Elehnia.. It's like I'm tofu around you.."

He placed his head in his hands "Even when we found each other again... I wasn't brave enough... so much time wasted... Spirits.. I wish I'd realized it sooner, what it was that I felt for you... that you wanted me too..."¨

"You're.. not the only one big guy... just a shame that you're such a dunce..."

Her voice was raspy and weak, it took him a while to realize that it wasn't just his imagination. His head snapped up, and there she was, resting her chin on the soft pillow, her beautiful lavender eyes, slightly hooded, gazing at him.

The heavy lump in his chest slowly dissolved, he tried to blink away the stubborn tears that formed in his eyes and drizzled down his chin.

"What?.. lost your ability to speak?.."

He swallowed, trying to relieve his dry throat "yes.." he hoisted himself up and leaned in, kissing her forehead gingerly "welcome back love"

She placed her hand softly on his mandible, stroking gently..

* * *

She layed on her tummy on the huge bed in her cabin, feet in the air, wiggling them back and forth. "finally free from that hell hole of a medbay! this requires celebration!" a wide grin spread across her features, lighting up her eyes as she gazed at him.

"Maybe you should celebrate less and rest more... you just got released, you don't want to rupture the stitches.." He sat in the sofa, blipping absentmindedly on a tablet.

"You're starting to sound like a dad! take a chill pill, everything will be fine!"

"Last time you said that you ended up in a coma.."

"Oh, is this what I'm gonna hear from now on" she sat up on her knees, folding her arms stubbornly.  
continuing sarcastically "_You can't pet that varren, it might bite_!"

"Well..." He glanced at her sideways, throwing up his legs on the table "You need some punishment for lying to me..."

"lying about what?"

"You told me you'd be back before I missed you"

She smirked and got up from the bed, grabbing two wine bottles that she threw on the bed. With two long strides she where at his side, grabbing his arm and pulling him up "Cmon, why are you sitting over here!"

"What are you up to..."

Her eyes glowed with mischievous intentions as she put her hand in front of her face, waving him closer with a finger "follow me and I'll tell you"

She led him up the bed and pushed him down against the headrest "Sit tight, I'll grab two glasses"

In a flash she was back at his side, sitting down next to him and pouring them wine.

"Well, you sure got your energy back quickly"

"Yup, I'm like a cougar on speed"

"A what on a what now?" He took a sip of the fruity wine, letting it flow sweetly down his throat.

"A cat on catnip!"

"Still don't get what your babbling about.."

She laughed charmingly, downed the remainder of the glass and got rid of it. She crawled over to him and pushed down his knees, smiling playfully while straddling him.

"Now, hurry up and drink, we've got other things to do"

"Other things?..."

"Yeah.. some catching up"

With a heavy sigh he put the class on the counter "Shepard, you should rest.."

He grabbed under her armpits to lift her up, she clamped her hands around his wrists and stopped him.

"I'm not made of glass _Vakarian_.. and since when did you start calling me _Shepard_ again? I thought you'd finally started calling me by my first-name"

"No, you're not made of glass.. but I know you too well by now to believe in anything you say... you'd claim how fine you felt even if your foot was blown off.."

"Well, I could always get one of those wooden legs.. actually, that would be awesome, I could become a space pirate! running around yelling '_arr arr, give me all ya treasures_!'"

"Yeah... that'd fit you perfectly... now get down.."

"Wow.. who swallowed the sour pill.." she crossed her arms and pouted.

"Well, someone's gotta be the grown up in this relationship"

"Seriously! I'm completely fine! You need to chill the fuck out.."

He grumbled and gawked at her "completely fine huh?" he pulled down the left side of her tank top, revealing a huge white plaster that covered the bullet-wound on her chest "What about this?" He pointed at it "You've got about five more of those... so tell me again who needs to 'chill the fuck out'.."

"Yeah, I got shot, so what? It's the perk of the job when you're in the military! But I'm all patched up now, so no need to worry!"

"No need to worry?!" He barked fiercely "that's easy for you to say!"

"What's the big deal?!"

"Are you kidding me?! You almost died Shepard! Again!"

"But I didn't, I'm right here, aren't I! And my name is Elehnia, start using it!"

He grabbed her arms a bit rougher than he meant to, pulling her in close to his face, staring her down "You were not the one standing there as you collapsed, neither did you stand helpless in the medbay watching how you bled out! Do you even know how close it was? I watched, as you died, again, right in front of me and I couldn't do anything about it!"

He released her and leaned back against the headrest, watching the fishes swim round and round in the tank "You have no idea... you can't possibly imagine what it felt like... Never in my life have I been so utterly terrified as I was in that medbay, or so completely useless..."

The fish tank wheezed and bubbled, the stars swept by in the huge black void outside the big skylight. Her breaths were slow and steady, a nice comfort for his stirred, troubled mind.

"I know that I can't remove those pictures from your head.. I wish I could... and it's impossible for me to guess what you felt watching.. that..." She clutched his shirt in her hands "But you have to try and forget it.. I am who I am... I can't hide away in some pillowed up safety box while the galaxy is at stake... and I can't promise to not get hurt again..."

He sighed deeply "You're missing the point.. that might have been prevented if you'd shown the tiniest bit of self preservation! But you're too stubborn to ask for help! you'd been shot six times! yet still insisted on doing everything yourself, can you understand how fucked up that is?!"

She bit her lip tentatively "I used medigel..."

"Spirits Elehnia! that's not good enough!" he put a hand on each side of her face, forcing her to look at him "you're so freaking stupid! a dimwit! Why couldn't you just sit tight and wait for us?! no, you felt like taking on a base of indoctrinated soldiers, half naked with nothing but a half-assed gun as protection!"

She lowered his hands and held them gently in her own "But that's not me.. I'm not a '_sit tigh_t' kind of woman... do you get how close it was? the reapers could've been knocking at our doors right this moment if I hadn't done something! I couldn't just sit there, fiddling my thumbs, hoping for rescue! I'll never stand by and just watch as the galaxy gets threatened by big bullies.."

"No..that's not what I want either.. I like the you that's bold and obstinate, and slightly insane.."

"Then _what_ is it that you want?"

"I want you to realize that you shouldn't do everything alone.. to ask for help when it's available.. but most of all, that you stop pretending that everything's just fine and dandy all the time..."

She sagged her back, lowering her head "I'm sorry... I don't know how to do that..."

"Well.. you better learn!"

"What if I can't?"

"Look... this isn't a one sided relationship where you carry all the burdens and I just stroll along.. we're in this together, until the end.."

"I don't think you get it... I've been alone most of my life, the only one I could ever rely upon was myself... and at the same time I never, let anyone tell me what to do.. I guess that's why I'm so bullheaded.."

He slid one arm behind her back and pulled her into his embrace, stroking her head comfortingly. She didn't talk much about her past, the little he knew he'd found out from tidbits in their conversations.

"Then this is a great opportunity for you to practice.. talk to me..."

"About what?.."

"Well... tell me about your burdens.."

She chuckled softly "What burdens..."

"Yeah.. What's eating you?"

"Well... these days, mostly you.."

He sighed dejectedly "Do you have to turn everything into a joke?"

"Yup.."

"What about your childhood, how did you end up in the military?.. We've known each other for so long, and I still know almost nothing about you.."

"You're very stubborn today... fine..." She slid off him and slumped down on her back, gazing out at the void. "I grew up in a farming colony, Mindoir, don't know if you know much about stuff like that, it's tough, few supply chains, lots of enemies. We had to protect our farms from anything and everything...  
My parents were decent people, did everything they could to protect my siblings and I, but they worked us hard as well. Don't really know what to say other than that, decent childhood, decent parents and cute siblings..."

"And then it all went to hell?.."

"Yeah, basically... batarians came, captured everyone, some got killed, others tortured... I was about sixteen at that time, lost my whole family to the batarian raid.. but I managed to escape and got picket up by the alliance... didn't have a clue what to do with my life after that, I ended up in this sort of refugee camp, it was built for folks like me, who didn't have a family or home anymore.. the younger ones where adopted and got new families, but I was too old for that.. then I got picked up by this.. man.. he said he wanted to help me.. I was young and naive so I didn't even contemplate what could go wrong in that scenario, I just knew that I'd wished for someone to come and save me for a very long time.. he seemed to be that someone... I was stuck with him for several months, used and discarded once he felt that I wasn't much fun anymore... I had learned to distrust everyone, and I also learned that one can only depend on themselves.. there are no saviors in this galaxy, the only one who could help me was myself... I'd grown so damn tired of always being weak and helpless, so I decided to change that, to become someone new... that's when I stumbled upon the Alliance military, it seemed like a good option, at least I could learn how to defend myself, and that was really all I wanted... that life fit me well, I had a place to return to, warm food, a bed, but most of all it gave me purpose..."

She turned towards him, supporting herself on one arm, a bitter smile on her face "well... that's my uplifting life story... don't know if there's much else to tell you.. you know most of it already..."

For a while they just watched each other, she seemed to study his face, looking for something hidden there. "What?.."

"You never seize to amaze me... the thing's you've gone through, the thing's you've achieved..."

"Don't pity me... I didn't talk about all this to have you go all soft on me..."

"It's not pity! Of course it's sad all that's happened to you.. But my view of you haven't changed, you're still this amazing, wonderful woman I was lucky enough to meet.. Yeah, I'm a very, very lucky guy"

"Can you stop with the flattery and go back to the teasing insults please.."

He leaned over her, dragging a talon gently along her arm "What.. you getting all jelly legged and embarrassed?"

She grabbed a hold of his neck, pulling him down "very.."

He eased away, sitting back up against the headrest "you should sleep now..."

But she wouldn't have that, instead she threw her leg around him, placing herself on top "I told you, I'm not made of glass, what are you so afraid of?"

"What I'm afraid of? Hurting you of course! You've just recovered, I don't wanna send you back there..."

At that she laughed vigorously, smiling brightly "Garrus dear, if six bullets, one explosion and a coma didn't kill me, you certainly won't. Now quit being such a Wuss!"

She tore the tank top of, showcasing all the white plasters covering her honey colored skin, grabbing his hands, guiding them around her waist. "Look, you're touching me and I'm still breathing!" she leaned in close to his face, caressing one of his mandibles with her hand "I want you... I need you" her eyes were burning with hunger.

He placed his hand on her lower back, pressing gently, burying the other one in her smooth long curls. She kissed him passionately and he responded, a pleasant rumble rising from his abdomen. Her hands grasped at the hem of his shirt, pulling it up, he yielded and helped her remove it. She took some time to admire his form, placing a hand on his chestridge, letting it slide slowly up towards his neck.

The way her eyes longed for him he would never forget in this life. She reached behind her back and removed the clasp of her lingerie, letting it slide down along her arms. He gingerly traced his talons along her back and she arched against his touch, moaning softly. Her eyes were slightly hooded as she gazed at him, placing her hands on his muscular shoulders "I love you.. with all my heart... I will always be yours.." his blood boiled hearing her sweet whisper, he pressed her close, burying his head in her neck, she tilted her head to the side to give him more reach. A soft growl left his throat as he traced his teeth gently along her collarbone, she moaned faintly, he bit down hard at the base of her neck. She gasped and pulled him tighter, he tasted her blood, lapping it up with his tongue in a soothing stroke.

He eased away, watching her reaction, she smiled lovingly, tears drizzling down her cheeks.

"what's wrong?.."

"nothing... I just.. I've wanted that for so long.. I never thought.." she leaned in an rested her head on his shoulder. "does this mean that you want me as much as I want you?.."

"Yes... You're mine now.. and forever.."

They had already spoken about it before and he'd explained to her what it meant for turians to mark someone. That it's a very important ritual they only share with someone they plan to spend the rest of their life with. He had wasted enough time already in this relationship, scared of her rejection, hesitating with every move, it was time to stop making the same mistakes.

He gently eased her into the bed, letting his eyes roam over her figure, tracing the new placed mark with the soft pad of his finger. She pulled him closer, looping her legs around his back and hooking them in place with her ankles. Holding himself up with one arm he placed the other under her back, lifting up, supporting her weight. She urged him on and he yielded, entering in one swift movement, she arched her back in a drawn out moan. She clawed at his back as he moved slowly against her, a satisfied rumble settling in his abdomen. He kissed her hungrily, maintaining the slow, steady motion. Her hands roamed his chest and neck, begging him to move faster, he complied. She gasped with pleasure, yelling his name, it drove him wild with hunger, so much that he gnashed his teeth to keep from ravaging her further. She moved in time with him, gasping, craving his whole being and they became one, singing each others names. He fell of her, panting heavily as he relaxed next to her, tracing a talon softly along her firm abdomen.

He dragged her closer, nuzzling the back of her neck, inhaling her sweet scent, she settled in his embrace, pulling his arm around her. Her slow, steady breathing soothed his torn heart and he relished in the fact that she was still with him. He would forever hold onto her, he was hers, she was his, everything was as it should.

* * *

**The End**

**Tell me what you thought and if there's something I can improve! I'd appreciate it a lot!**


	3. Chapter 3

**I've always thought it a bit strange that Shepard doesn't even blink at the fact that she died, then was resurrected. She just struts on as usual, to me that's just a bit, unrealistic. So this is Shepard, a few days after being back on the Normandy.**

**I like to write pretentious crap, it fills my soul with glee!**

** I'd like to share that with you guys and see if you like it as much as I do.**

**Don't know if this will be disturbing or not, it's hard for me to imagine what other people will think about these types of things. Well, this is a one-shot where Shepard wakes up from a nightmare, have fun!**

* * *

_Hot, boiling, raging inferno, there's no escaping it anymore. She push him through the door. First a shudder, an explosion of bright blazing light, the ground disappears from under her,how did she get so light, like a feather drifting through the wind. With a last ditch effort she press the button that will lead to her doom, but he is safe, that's all that matters. Another rumble, __it's far too bright, too much red, yellow and blue. Everything is spiraling, tilting, complete chaos._  
_The smoldering flames lick at her many limbs, hot, blazing, scorching, the very air molten sulfur through her parched throat. She's wading in an ocean of seething acid, burning her very soul. She can't tell if it's her own painful shrieks blaring like hot iron in her mind. Impossible to tell up from down, left from right. There's only one way of out this hellfire, her mind screams for release that doesn't want to come 'please just let me die, it's enough now, LET ME DIE!'_

Her eyes see red even as she flies up from bed, cold sweat drizzle down her face and back, drenching her from head to toe. Pulse raging like a rushing stampede through her temples, heart beating like a drum solo against her rib cage. The fish-tank with its eerie blue light, brighten the otherwise huge dark chamber where she's trapped. Her fingers travel like claws from scalp to face, digging ridges of pain that somehow lessen the turmoil. The stinging pain a proof that she exists, if she can feel then she must be alive. Exhaustion burden her limbs as she crawls out of the bed, into the shower, cold, freezing water splash over her back, drenching the clothes she refused to remove. Her rattling teeth and gooseflesh covered skin finally convince her that the inferno was tamed. She halts in front of the bleak mirror baring the truth of her disposition. With a hesitant, almost tender motion her finger slide along the crimson fissure that shine like burning embers on her pale cheek.

_'Lies are the fools salvation, just look at yourself, how could you be real, alive? You died in that blazing purgatory, transformed to a bed of ashes. Those bleeding scars speak the truth you wish to deny, that you're simply a demon wearing her skin'_

The fish-tank hiss and bubble in a steady tune, stars fly by in the immense, black void outside the skylight. She curls up against the headrest with a soft pillow in her lap, hugging it tightly as if it were the only anchor to this world. The water from her drenched clothes seep into the fabric around her, a safety net that will prevent her from falling into that nightmare riddled hell hole. Her whole being screams of exhaustion and grief, but she will never relent, anything is better than that inky, endless abyss.

_"keep it together, keep it together, keep it together, you're weak, pathetic, disgusting, get your shit together, keep it together, keep it together, keep it together, keep it together"_

Silent whispers that echo against the cold metal walls in her isolated prison...


End file.
